How to Deal With a Boss That Doesn't Like You

If you’ve never had a boss that dislikes you, it’s only a matter of time. Surveys show that most of us will eventually face a boss that seems to have an ax to grind making it difficult to get a promotion or a raise. So, if you haven’t faced this yet, someday you will. Handling this delicate situation requires tact and self-control. It’s easy to turn yourself into a basket case or ruin your career. A boss that dislikes you is cause for concern. Proceed with thoughtfulness and caution.

Try these ideas to alleviate this unpleasant situation:

1. Ask your boss for feedback. Ask for feedback on your work in an information-gathering meeting and take notes in a dedicated workbook to contain all your career advancement material. See if there are any areas in which you can improve. You might find your answer just by asking a few simple questions.

2. Ask coworkers for feedback. Do you have a trusted ally at work? Ask her for an objective assessment of the situation. Maybe a third party can see something that you can’t.

3. Look for the point of origin. When did the friction begin? If you can figure out the original cause, you can more easily address the situation. Give it some thought and make an effort to determine the beginning of the negative feelings. In one of my first jobs as a recruiter, I overstepped my bounds and offended the HR Director. My career still flourished, but it was a mistake I had to own up to and not let deter me from my overall career goals.

4. Do your co-workers endure a similar situation? Maybe it’s not you at all. Maybe your boss has a problem with everyone. In this case, you can probably just ignore the situation. It sounds like the perfect opportunity for an impromptu happy hour after work. If it's weighing heavily on you and you can't get over the friction it may be time to start looking for a new job.

5. Up your game. Be an above-average employee and see if that helps. Always be on time to work and make sure to submit everything before the deadline. Steer clear of the office gossip. Dress on the same level as your boss or just a touch less than her. Take a look at your department’s best employee and use her as an example.

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6. Mimic your boss’s demeanor. Be your own person, but take on the general demeanor of your boss. If she’s chatty and casual, follow suit but don't talk too much about your personal life, even if your boss does. However, if your boss is all-business, all of the time, be more formal and serious in her presence. People generally like those who remind them of themselves.

7. Have a heart-to-heart. If a formal request to meet and discuss the tension, try to address the situation directly when things are light in the office. Ask your boss what her concerns may be and how you can improve your performance. When people are relaxed and happy, they tend to be more open to direct questions. Listen intently, and then follow through on her suggestions.

8. Speak with human resources as a last resort and only if treatment is unbearable or illegal. While going to human resources may seem relatively mild, this is your nuclear option. The boss won’t be happy, but this might be enough to bring him back under control. Standing up for yourself can be empowering and shows that you mean business. As someone with a background in HR, I can confidently tell you HR isn't necessarily there to resolve your concerns. HR is in fact a department designed to provide you with information as required by law in an effort to keep companies out of trouble, and from losing tons of money in lawsuits.

Note: In many companies, the human resources department is very loyal to management. Consider your business environment before making this move in speaking to HR.

Request a transfer. In a mid to large-sized company, there may be another opportunity available that better suits your talent and skillset.

9. Get out of dodge. If all else fails, make an exit strategy and spend every spare moment preparing to move on. Avoid quitting before you have another job lined up. Update your resume and reach out to everyone you know until you find something that better suits you. If you decide to move on, do not speak poorly about your employer in an interview. Your reason for leaving should be generic such as "I am seeking new challenges", but never say "I am leaving because my boss is a tyrant."

10. Keep it civil. Once you’ve found another position, avoid giving your boss a piece of your mind on the way out the door. You never want to burn bridges, even if you think you may not return. A change in management could make this company appealing again in the future.

The best solution is to determine the cause of her dislike and correct the problem if possible.

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About: Careerspresso was created to help advance the careers of Boomer & GenX women. Morganne Gervais will show you how to get Back to Work, get a raise, get a promotion and become the obvious choice for every opportunity. Follow to stay up on the latest and greatest in career coaching.

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